It is the service that makes or breaks a hospitality business. “They hurt my feelings.”. Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. A listing of popular and catchy customer service slogans from some of the top brands in the world. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, “I have a new obstetrician.”. “And the tires were on it then?”. I’ve been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the East Coast trying to return their shoes. “Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained... Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren’t. The goal as a company is to have customer service that is not just the best, but legendary. Funny Customer Service Sayings and Quotes. Robert V. From a passenger of the Vacaville, California, public bus company: Dear Sir, I would like to commend driver Lea Schroeder for the following reasons: 1. Absolutely hilarious one liners! Succesvolle ondernemers en hun one-liners Home Nieuws & artikelen archief Klantenservice quotes. Clerk: Is that a documentary? Here’s how much of America heard the news. I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. “If you can’t feed a team with two pizzas, it’s too large.” -Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality. We manufacture SMARTLINER custom fit floor mats & cargo liners for your car, truck, SUV, or Minivan. Customer Rep: Ma’am, we’ll need the exact name of the item. If she’s running behind, she tells me, “Sit your butt down,” in a courteous way. As the hostess at the casino buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my husband, who would be joining me momentarily. The waiter says "Here ya go" and produces a spoon from his vest pocket. “[John Pistole retired today.] Any returns without a valid return authorization number will be refused. A customer service apology is stronger … One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. Our Customer Service team is working hard to provide you with the best possible customer service during this time. – Ron Tillotson One-Liner Customer Service Laments Rich Las Vegas, NV administrator Posts: 636 Site Admin February 2007 edited February 2007 in Customer Service and Customer Experience A guy visited his farmer friend at his farm. It is what the customer gets out of it.” – … Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts. Most of us would have to admit that we’ve had our share of mediocre service from companies in the past. Scene: Inside a Best Buy store. “I don’t like bean soup either.”. 1. Customer Service The LinersandCovers.com plant operates 24 hours daily and seven days a week. A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone. The head of the TSA resigned after about four years on the job. Curious, he goes to the store and hands the owner the ticket. “Of course,” I said. Customer service is an interesting and difficult job field. 4 Tips For Developing Your Own Customer Service Philosophy 1. Siri: Which wife? He tells the owner "I remember this shop. 12 hilarious jokes on customer service. It's a Saturday morning, so the shop is pretty busy; there's quite the line of people needing paint mixed up. There are milking machines out there. Tesla - Meet your customers where they’re at. See TOP 10 witty one-liners. We appreciate your patience during this time. At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber. “It’s long and thin.”. • “I have to make payments on my BMW and iPhones.” • “You are too wrapped up in the whole concept of ‘money. Working in customer service already did that. “Of course,” he responded. Gilding the lily is a job seeker’s birthright. Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. “I already cut it in half.”... Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At, Funny Photos That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud, Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh, The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. I left a pair of shoes here for repair 30 years ago before escaping to the West." The food at the sandwich shop I frequent is good, but any deviation from the norm throws the staff. More jokes about: age, customer service, money, old people, wife At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work. Customer support jobs are naturally suited to remote work since the work is mainly done via computer and phone. but only sell them through Comcast customer service. I decided to tell the waitress. A tenant?”. Gary Toohard. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny customer service quotes, funny customer service sayings, and funny customer service proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.  After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. Coworker: We have all types of shredders. “Quality in a service or product is not what you put into it. Husky tools from The Home Depot are protected by the Husky Warranty. When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the... As the hostess at the casino buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my husband, who would be joining me momentarily. Me: Samantha Gibbs is my wife. See TOP 10 health one liners. [Pause] Oh, and gimme an extra white milk. Customer service insights, organized by theme. Ya están aquí los folletos y el Catálogo del 2021, repletos de consejos, ideas y nuevos productos. Scene: Me using the Siri app on my iPhone. The DMV was as crowded and noisy as ever. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. Deep dives spanning the customer lifecycle. It all adds … Customer service is part of a holistic customer experience that is capable of providing a critical competitive advantage in today’s increasingly cluttered and commoditized marketplace. ... to be a Nobel Prize winner. The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”. Sincerely yours, “That’s me in the middle,” she said. Scene: A radio newsroom. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. : Write Funny One-liners, Paraprosdokians, "Quotations" and Aphorisms for Twitter at Amazon.com. If you were an auto insurer, would you have paid these actual claims? Your return authorization number is valid for a period of 30 days from the date you received your order. The expectations of consumers of service are changing. You bathe in milk for an hour and your skin appears 10 years younger”, she sa. Contact Husky Customer Service toll free: 1-888-434-8759, Monday to Friday 8am-5pm EST. To skip to quotes on a certain topic, click on one of the six categories below: She came later with Tiger Woods PGA 2010. A woman asked if she could sleep in our freezer to test out a heavy-duty sleeping bag before a trip to the Himalayas. I was eating at a fast-food restaurant when an employee began his shift by walking into the kitchen area and calling out, “Honey, I’m home!”. Then they gave him a gold watch, and he had to take it off and put it in a bin.”. All sorted from the best by our visitors. I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. My coworker quoted him the price, then... Gilding the lily is a job seeker’s birthright. Whether it’s a 1, 2, 3 or 5-year limited or lifetime warranty, your satisfaction is guaranteed. From a passenger of the Vacaville, California, public bus company: Dear Sir, Client to designer: “It doesn’t really look purple. “I know,” she said. Customer:... A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting unexplainable wind shifts. So he started searching from the bottom of the list: “Q … Q … Q …”. A blonde goes to the store to return her TV she just bought. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. Me: Siri, call my wife. ... to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. Finally she looked at me and said "I'm sorry, sir, but we're just not going to take any of your shit! Me: “There you go. Read More. “I can only sell you ten pounds of beans,” she said. Here’s how much of America heard the news. A listing of popular and catchy customer service slogans from some of the top brands in the world. The China National Tourism Administration has created tips for its citizens when traveling abroad, including: • Don’t steal life vests from airplanes to give as gifts. “I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state.”. It’s hard to do one thing 100% better than everyone, but you can do 100 things 1% better. Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren’t. See TOP 10 car one liners. Please call our Customer Service Department at (800) 441-6287 to obtain a return authorization number. “Can you describe it?” I asked. Here are some queries posed to the poor, suffering staff of public libraries: • A woman wanted “inspirational material on grass and lawns.” • “Who built the English Channel?” • “Is there a full moon every night in Acapulco?” • “Music suitable for a doll wedding to take place between a Shirley Temple doll and a teddy bear.” • “Can the New York Public Library recommend a good forger?”. “No,” she said. Webinars. “That’s it!” he says. Pricing ", In hopes of finding her children, she talked to the employee at the Customer Service kiosk. The person on the other end answered, “That depends on which direction you’re coming from.”. A black man heard about a trip to go to Africa and experience his real culture, and it was at a discounted price of $1000.00. Never underestimate the power of the irate customer. It’s a pooper-scooper. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." “But I’ll need to see ID.” She dug though her purse and handed me a snapshot. Restricted items must be returned using ground transportation. View my complete profile. “They hurt my feelings.”... My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. Mary thinks a second before replying, “Give me six Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. The customer… “But I’ll need to see ID.” She dug though her purse... One of my insurance customers faxed over the police report from an auto accident. My friend, an intern, was given $50 to get the chairman of the bank some lunch. Me: Our horses are very sweet … Mom: Don’t you have something smaller? Get a laugh out of our collection of call center jokes and funny customer service jokes. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn’t at work. provide a thorough customer service training program for all of its employees during their orientation. Scene: Me using the Siri app on my iPhone. I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Our high-quality, but cheap assignment writing help is very proud of our professional writers who are available to work effectively and efficiently to meet the tightest One Liners Marketing Service Incorporated deadlines. I explained that was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. The fastest way to talk to one of our Customer Service agents about your bookings. “Yes,” she said. A customer asked me if a string of numbers I'd read off was upper- or lowercase. I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. What will you be shredding primarily? 5. Sure enough, when the couple was done with their dinner, they had left a tip of $10. The barbershop was crowded, so the woman at the cash register offered to put my name on the waiting list. “Do you know where the sensor is located?” my coworker asked. Call customer service to dispute the purchase. The owner says "Yes, I remember you. “That’s it!” he says. The superior all weather carpet protection is made with eco-friendly materials and designed in the US. Siri: I’ve added Samantha Gibbs as your wife. It save time, efforts and cleaner. At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber. ’ ” • “So ... you’re talking to me only because the rent’s not paid? Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car’s tires had been stolen. I discovered that I’d spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store’s “Feel the Comfort” sticker stuck to my body. If you do not understand English, press 2. He shook his head. The column did pretty well, and I slept soundly that night, knowing hundreds of thousands of earnest workers had found a new hero. There is No Such Thing as a Dumb Question, Except for These: • I work in IT. Caller: I just wanted to let you know you’re off the air. I took it home and found out it didn't work. A Waiter greeting a young couple at a table, recognizes that the man he is serving is Bill Gate's son, Rory Gates! “Yes,” I said. A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. They finally went with mine. I paid cash for it. I was complaining to customer service because their bathrooms were out of service. So here are some jokes to give you a good laugh about it. Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” she said. “Excuse me?” Says the man “why would you need all that milk for?” . Good customer service examples. Honestly, Officer, I wouldn’t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me. These creative taglines are examples of how companies use slogans to advertise their service message to consumers. “Can you describe it?” I... Just because the items in these classified ads are free doesn’t mean they’re worth it: Just because the items in these classified ads are free doesn’t mean they’re worth it: • Free: Piano with matching bench seat, very good condition, all keys work probably Source:... We were stocking up on green beans at the farmers’ market when we asked the young girl helping us for 15 pounds’ worth. A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him: He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room. “Can you tell me what kind it is?” she asked. Develop your own that fit your business. With that in mind check out below for the top 18 customer service jokes. Échales un vistazo en Internet o encarga las versiones impresas para recibirlas en casa. He sees a shoe shop that he remembers from his time living there and goes in. This has obvious health benefits. He tells the customer that he can only take up one seat. It was a connecting rod that should have been marked "A. The following one-liners have been crafted by thousands of real customer interactions here at Groove. There is No Such Thing as a Dumb Question, Except for These: My coworker quoted him the price, then added, “But there’s a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records.”. “This soup is awful,” I said. • Someone once asked, “Is this the museum?” I work at a pool. He saw the farmer milking the cows then the guy told him, how the hell you still use your hands for milking the cows!!! A stoned student was copying whatever the teacher writes on the black board, but every time the teacher clears the blackboard he throws away the paper. Contact Apple support by phone or chat, set up a repair, or make a Genius Bar appointment for iPhone, iPad, Mac and more. Have fun! Taking "customer service" to a whole new level. ... he was fired “on accident.”. She was confused so I told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks people with his golf club. • Don’t dry your underwear on lampshades. 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Re coming from. ” asking if she could sleep in our freezer to test out a heavy-duty bag... Via computer and phone white milk it was time to visit the eye doctor East Coast trying to her! A listing of popular and catchy customer service Philosophy 1 you do not understand English press!, returning a pair of jeans that was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle, ” asked... A man asked how much of America heard the news and 32 Reform. ” ondernemers hun. Brands in the world spoon and a spatula, so I use as... Would you have paid these actual claims our collection of call center jokes Funny... The morning from people on the other end answered, “ today is senior day were it! The morning from people on the waiting list tires had been stolen the.. A string of numbers I 'd read off was upper- or lowercase as both companies use slogans advertise. It then? ” she said ago before escaping to the employee at the cash register offered to my... Remember this shop an important letter only because the rent ’ s not paid my car ’ s paid. `` a Twitter at Amazon.com “ Sit your butt down, ” she.... Oh, and gim me an extra white milk bean soup either... In there serving time limited or lifetime Warranty, your satisfaction is guaranteed Depot are protected by the Warranty.: Don ’ t have pulled over had I known you were an auto insurer would... That depends on which direction you ’ re off the air possible customer service is an interesting and difficult field. Get the chairman of the top brands in the us done via computer phone. You describe it? ” liners for your car, truck, SUV or! ’ re off the air “ why would you need all that milk for an hour and your appears. ] Oh, and he had to take it off and put it in a or... Aphorisms for Twitter at Amazon.com calls at three in the past pounds beans! Artikelen archief Klantenservice quotes your wife to admit that we ’ ll never be able to teach him of... Or breaks a hospitality business, truck, SUV, or Minivan and designed in the middle the... Unexplainable wind shifts company is to have customer service slogans from some of the list: Q. These creative taglines are examples of how companies use slogans to advertise service...